


Exit, Pursued by a Bear

by Castillon02



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Bears, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10857693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castillon02/pseuds/Castillon02
Summary: One of Bond's targets tries to hide in the wilderness.





	Exit, Pursued by a Bear

“It must be nice to be a bear,” Bond said, peering through his binoculars at the one that was currently rummaging through his target’s camp. Ah—there went the food supply. Perfect; hungry people made mistakes.  

“Lying about in the forest all day, doing nothing but eating fish and mating female bears? Sounds scintillating,” Q said over the comms. “Of course it would appeal to you.”

“They needn’t be female,” Bond chided Q. “I would be an equal opportunity bear. And this one certainly seems to have a diet more varied than fish. He’s into the target’s sweeties.”

No more Haribo. Bond imagined the target’s morale plummeting and grinned.

“If I were a bear, I would eat honey and poachers,” Q said.

“Dangerous game.” Though he imagined that Q would be clever about it: a lean shadow of a killing machine, curious eyes and claws like knives, sneaking up on beehives and armed men alike. A bear would have to be careful with that kind of mate, but there would be rewards, too. And not just a ready supply of honey.

A few minutes later, the bear looked in the direction the man had taken when he’d left camp a few minutes before, probably to answer the call of nature; Q didn’t have eyes on the woods, but he could tell that the man wasn’t attempting to contact anyone through his mobile. 

After a moment, the bear returned to its feast, now gnawing on a big ham that the target must have been counting on to carry him through a week or more of woodsy hiding out from all the people he’d pissed off.

The target emerged from the trees and froze.

The bear looked up again.

Bond had a wonderful, nasty idea. He lined up his shot.

The target began to move, stumbling backward.

Bond fired. The shot echoed through the woods, fragmenting a can of beans an inch away from the bear’s face.

The bear charged.

“Assassination via bear,” Q said after the grisly noises had mostly faded away. “Not sure if that one’s on record yet.”

Bond smirked. “Better add it to the list,” he said. 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Please don't use bears as your murder weapon; it's rude.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
